Courageous Leadership?.... Courageous Soldiership?!!
When Captains Andrew and Tracy commissioned me as ASM they gave me a Bill Hybells book "Courageous Leadership". I had another look at it yesterday...... not because I feel I am a leader but because I wanted to see again what it had to say about this courage thing!
In our united service with the Methodists last night Ephesians 6 was referred to.... and wow, don't I need to have it welded into my brain, heart, spirit... whatever. I need to be so absolutely sure that my war is not against flesh and blood - even though flesh and blood is what so often appears to be the problem (mine too!) and I need to be making sure that I am placing the full armour of God on myself - I have to choose to do this... and it has to be repeated over and over and over. I know I shouldn't need reminding of such basics but.....
Oh how I sometimes would like to not feel like I am in a war - sorry but I do - I know that I signed up for it, I know that if I am pushing forward, even just a couple of centimetres, then I will come under attack, but the battle fatigue is tough - I still have a thin skin.... I still pick up on stuff I wish sometimes I didn't... atmosphere, expressions, sometimes just out of the blue - I have thought in the past that it is discernment and have asked The Lord to take it from me when I've felt so desperate about it all. But I still have whatever it is.... I am trying to trust in God to help me to learn whatever lessons he is trying to teach me and I thank him yet again for His Faithfullness.
I still don't really have any indication of where I should be or what I should be doing..... since returning from a wonderfully relaxing holiday I've had no time - no privacy, no energy (and I've been back just over a week!) But I still have a deep deep sense that there is something.... that I'm not where I should be spiritually - I don't know whether its Jesus or me. I have no doubt though that things will become clearer in His good timing - I will learn patience one day!
I do have a sense of Hope in the midst of all this, personally and regarding the corps. Its a small sense of Hope but it is there. I am thankful to God for bringing Majors Alan & Carol to us - His hand is clearly at work (and has been) and I have a deep assurance that God is working out His purposes. I spent a lot of time in prayer and just waiting on Him, being still, etc whilst on holiday - it was lovely and I experienced a deep refreshing of not just body and mind but of my spirit too and I praise Him for that. Whilst on holiday I felt led to repent for myself and on behalf of our corps for not fixing our eyes on Jesus and doing His will.... and thereby allowing the devil to have a field-day. For all the unforgiveness, bitterness, jealousy and lack of love.... I just pray with all my heart that God will do whatever is necessary (and we will do the same) and that we will be the people He has called us to be.
In our united service with the Methodists last night Ephesians 6 was referred to.... and wow, don't I need to have it welded into my brain, heart, spirit... whatever. I need to be so absolutely sure that my war is not against flesh and blood - even though flesh and blood is what so often appears to be the problem (mine too!) and I need to be making sure that I am placing the full armour of God on myself - I have to choose to do this... and it has to be repeated over and over and over. I know I shouldn't need reminding of such basics but.....
Oh how I sometimes would like to not feel like I am in a war - sorry but I do - I know that I signed up for it, I know that if I am pushing forward, even just a couple of centimetres, then I will come under attack, but the battle fatigue is tough - I still have a thin skin.... I still pick up on stuff I wish sometimes I didn't... atmosphere, expressions, sometimes just out of the blue - I have thought in the past that it is discernment and have asked The Lord to take it from me when I've felt so desperate about it all. But I still have whatever it is.... I am trying to trust in God to help me to learn whatever lessons he is trying to teach me and I thank him yet again for His Faithfullness.
I still don't really have any indication of where I should be or what I should be doing..... since returning from a wonderfully relaxing holiday I've had no time - no privacy, no energy (and I've been back just over a week!) But I still have a deep deep sense that there is something.... that I'm not where I should be spiritually - I don't know whether its Jesus or me. I have no doubt though that things will become clearer in His good timing - I will learn patience one day!
I do have a sense of Hope in the midst of all this, personally and regarding the corps. Its a small sense of Hope but it is there. I am thankful to God for bringing Majors Alan & Carol to us - His hand is clearly at work (and has been) and I have a deep assurance that God is working out His purposes. I spent a lot of time in prayer and just waiting on Him, being still, etc whilst on holiday - it was lovely and I experienced a deep refreshing of not just body and mind but of my spirit too and I praise Him for that. Whilst on holiday I felt led to repent for myself and on behalf of our corps for not fixing our eyes on Jesus and doing His will.... and thereby allowing the devil to have a field-day. For all the unforgiveness, bitterness, jealousy and lack of love.... I just pray with all my heart that God will do whatever is necessary (and we will do the same) and that we will be the people He has called us to be.
posted by Ann at 2:16 pm
3 Comments:
hello Ann
Have courage the devil will never win.I have just read Ephesians 3:14-21
Not so Grumpy Brian
Thanks Brian for your encouragement! Ephesians 3: 14-21 is one of my fave Bible passages - I always find it a comfort and a challenge esp v 20-21..... where it says clearly that God is able to do..... "according to" his power at work in us - like Carol was saying on Sunday morning - we must ask him to fill us and allow him to fill us to overflowing, again and again..... otherwise we live a mediocre Christian life - and certainly this is not what God has called us and chosen us to do (or be!) God bless.
Hi Ann,
Sooo, pleased that your holiday was refreshing in spirit, soul, and body.
When I was seeking a closer relationship with God, an elderly lady prayed for me, until the request was granted. Her prayer was quite simple, but effective!
"Come Holy Spirit with more power"
Come Holy Spirit with more power into Ann's life. Amen & Amen.
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