fellowship, community...
Should I 'enjoy' going to my corps - should I be getting anything in particular out of my attendance for me, selfish individual that I tend to be??
What I am blessed by and receive in my corps setting... thats probably a better way to put it, is: Good, uplifting worship and deep thought-provoking teaching. To be honest, that is it. Maybe that is all that I should be going there for.... equipping for the day to day fight and so on. And yes, I recognise I have a part to play in this - I'm not the most naturally gifted people when it comes to the general chit-chatter of the fellowship but my limited patience seems to be even more limited at the moment - To be honest, I believe that I display the fruits of the Holy Spirit more when I am not at the corps - and that says a lot about me (and the corps) - but what!
Is my expectation too high? Am I in the wrong place? Is it something more? How can I keep on keeping on when I feel so frustrated.
I am not about to leave........ no-one has said or done anything enough to make me leave........ I do still believe that I am called to be a Soldier in His Army........ but I know I am either not doing what He has called me to be..... or I am doing what He hasn't called me to be.
But, I feel like screaming..................... maybe I just need a holiday :) maybe I just need to be listening to Him more - perhaps I should just Be Still and Know that He is God!
What I am blessed by and receive in my corps setting... thats probably a better way to put it, is: Good, uplifting worship and deep thought-provoking teaching. To be honest, that is it. Maybe that is all that I should be going there for.... equipping for the day to day fight and so on. And yes, I recognise I have a part to play in this - I'm not the most naturally gifted people when it comes to the general chit-chatter of the fellowship but my limited patience seems to be even more limited at the moment - To be honest, I believe that I display the fruits of the Holy Spirit more when I am not at the corps - and that says a lot about me (and the corps) - but what!
Is my expectation too high? Am I in the wrong place? Is it something more? How can I keep on keeping on when I feel so frustrated.
I am not about to leave........ no-one has said or done anything enough to make me leave........ I do still believe that I am called to be a Soldier in His Army........ but I know I am either not doing what He has called me to be..... or I am doing what He hasn't called me to be.
But, I feel like screaming..................... maybe I just need a holiday :) maybe I just need to be listening to Him more - perhaps I should just Be Still and Know that He is God!
posted by Ann at 9:23 am
6 Comments:
This is one of the most vexing of questions, I believe, for all church goers. Do we go to scratch our itch, to be part of something bigger or just simply to gather in God's place? I think a bit of everything, with a major focus on the latter. However, the frustration that we're not in the right place can pull us down for whatever reason...and that's when we need to get down on our knees and ask God where he wants us.
I guess I write that last bit as a bit of testimony. Hard as it was to leave a lifetime with TSA, we knew God was leading us elsewhere, and that's the only reason we decided not to 'put up and shut up'.
Having said that, sometimes God leaves it to us to decide. He provides us with some promptings...then we've got to decide whether it's his way or our way.
But yeah, I do think we should enjoy church...and be challenged, and angered, and hurt and everything else about humanity that makes church a real connecting point for all of us.
Love you writings! Keep going!
M
Thanks for your thoughts on this Martin.... I'm struggling (in general not necessarily personally) with the view/thought/belief that (in the SA) there can be no change of direction in our service for God.... once He has called us to be whatever withint he Army - particularly Officer and Soldier - then His call can't change - and if we change direction, it is a broken covenant. I'm sure you will understand some of this..... I am not up to scratch theologically so am struggling with this - basically because I believe that although God's nature never changes..... He can change His mind/have His mind changed - am thinking of certain times when prayer has accomplished this although can't quote. But, the biggest issue in all of this I believe is knowing when it is God's prompting for a change of direction v our own thoughts and feelings - this ramble has come about due to Captain Andrew Bale's recent blog entry and comments made. I appreciate your encouragement! God bless you and Kay.
Yeah - caught up with the debate at Andrew Bale's yesterday. I can see what you mean.
I think people need to think long and hard about the covenant thing. I made a covenant with God when I became an officer. The bit I had to think long and hard about was the bit that is all about the Army.
I think my theology about this stuff now is much more about God providing us with the tools to make decisions about the future. Sometimes we think we know what's best when only God does...if you catch my drift.
What saddens me throughout the debate and subsequent comments is the arrogance about the Army. Yes, the Army is an incredible organisation but it is not "the" organisation (i.e. the only Christian organisation that is doing this kind of work). So often people seem to worship the Army above the Lord.
Sorry for the outspoken words!! They are said with love, honest!
I agree with your sentiments Martin so no need of any apology for being outspoken!
I'll let you into a secret. I believe it is possible to work out ones covenant with the Lord (albeit the officers covenant or the soldiers covenant) in another part of the vineyard. The issue for me is where we make the promise and break it...there is a difference there.
The only point where I disagree with my good friend Stephen Court is that there is a degree of 'losing annointing' when one leaves the Army. I've seen it happen, but I've also seen the opposite.
I believe we are in the day as an Army where there are two testimonies going on. Firstly, there is the testimony of those who are leaving. Secondly, there is the testimony of those who are actively staying!
By actively staying, I suppose I'm talking about the mugs like me who have heard the clear call to continue with this thing until the bitter end....until I am involved in either burying the Salvation Army, or helping re-birth it into a powerful vessel that it was intended to be. I don't mind which, because both ways God is glorified.
As you both (Ann and Martin) know, I'm not the 'put up and shut up' type!! :) If I was, I'd be long gone. I look at some colleagues I went to bible college with and see what they are doing and its tempting to think..wow, what could I do?!?
I've always maintained that soldiership and officership are callings...they are not for everyone. We are intended to be a Gideon's Army. When we become anything else, we do it all in our own strength and we stop relying on the Lord.
I, for one, will be eternally grateful that you have been my Assistant Sergeant Major. You've been a tower of support and strength. You've also shared in the burdens of this corps with us and sometimes for us, and that has shown me more of Jesus in you than it would in someone who just turns up, enjoys the show, and goes home.
God bless Ann Jones. God Bless Pill. And Lord, help us to understand that covenants are for always!
blessings
Andrew
Thank you Andrew.... the issues around covenant are deeeeeeeeep and serious and I appreciate your comemnts. Thanks too for your final comments..... You know how much I have valued your ministry - I am just glad that it is so much easier to keep in touch, via blogs, emails and texts (apart from facebook and beebo....!) once you are many miles away... particularly as we will be looking forward to seeing you all again on Lucy & Dave's BIG day next year.
Love & prayers as always,
Ann
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