Safe harbour???

Our new Corps Vision or is it Mission(!) Statement reads "Our Corps' passion is to pilot our communities into the safe harbour of Jesus Christ". For info, our village has a long history of Piloting ships up the treacherous waters of the Severn estuary and the Bristol Channel.... something passed down from Father to Son in a couple of families over hundreds of years.

I recognise absolutely the need for us to focus on 'Others' - the need to look outward and to reach the lost in our community...... I know it is what we must do but I find it so difficult to focus in that area as much as I should purely becasue I believe our fellowship is not 'safe' - it is not able to pilot anyone currently. Obviously that doesn't mean that we must not reach out to the lost and tell them of Jesus/show them His Love - but, do we then direct them to our fellowship, as a place of nurture and ongoing discipleship??? I've always struggled with this to a certain extent because our corps has had such problems and still has problems that have led to a form of corporate repentance over 'lack of love' 'cold love' 'bitterness & resentment' 'unforgiveness' and so on....... The trouble is that (and I'm sorry as this will appear judgemental) the individuals most in need of seeking forgiveness and receiving forgiveness for the cancer that has eaten away at our corps, were not there and still continue in the same vein as they always have.

What do we do - what should I do - I am struggling to stay in our fellowship..... how can I encourage anyone to come along whilst things are so unpleasant so often?? Yes there are a good few faithful and encouraging people in our corps, thank God! But people are leaving because they can't stand the 'atmosphere' sometimes people don't actually know a lot of what is going on but still they perceive that atmosphere.

Things are happening in our fellowship and I am holding on to the hope that although we might be dying in some respects, I am praying that God is perhaps making us into a smaller, more faithful and willing group of people - a fellowship that will truly be a fellowship - one where we can be real, honest and open with each other..... where we will support and encourage each other - and the Officers - WOW, wouldn't that be something special...... and that would definitely be the sort of fellowship that I would want to drag people into (and I'd want to hang around too!)

Faithfulness is the key I feel........ But its hard to hold on when the going is so tough - I am praying that God's will is done in and through A&T (our officers) for them, our fellowship and for His Kingdom in future days........ Please God don't let things go back to how they were before - on the surface all seemed hunky dory, decent sized musical sections, fairly big congregations..... but almost total mediocrity and uselessness, apart from in one or two areas and in a small number of faithful individuals. I don't like it tough, I don't like the heat of the battle (well at least I'm honest!) but I recognise that we must surely be doing something that the evil one doesn't like.... we must be encroaching on his territory...... maybe we are on the brink of taking back the ground we lost so long ago for Jesus - so the battle is fierce and will probably get fiercer with more casualties perhaps..... I pray that I will remain faithful!

Its Wednesday!

I tend to like Wednesdays.... half way through the week (not that the week has been bad) and only two more early mornings! I am struggling to get up and leave the house in the dark and in a few days time I'll be returning home in the dark too - I was saying to someone earlier that I reckon I should have been a Hedgehog or a Doormouse and hibernate the winter away - as long as I could be awake for Christmas! Mind you, I don't really mind this time of year too much - its January thats the toughest time for me, always has been.... desperate for signs of spring and to be without a cold/virus, desperate for money, desperate for sunshine and warmth.....
Since the end of last week I've been officially in charge of our Salvation Army Corps - both my Officers and the second-in-command (CSM - Corps Sergeant Major) are on their hols in the north of Scotland.... well somewhere up there - and its been interesting.... Friday night I had a visit from a soldier who wanted a chat about some serious stuff - that's never happened and we have never chatted much before, but she felt she could come and speak with me about it and that felt good - I felt quite honoured (and a bit frightened too to be honest) and then I had Sunday to cope with - terrible to say that I suppose, but that is how I felt - lots of stuff happened leading up to Sunday and on the day.... minor and not so minor - affecting me and those who were leading the meetings -BUT it was a good day and we did send up some praise to God and even though I wasn't feeling too good (and prob would have stayed in bed for most of the day if given half a chance) by the end of the day I felt so much better - I think I said this in a previous post but I'll say it again.... it always amazes me how much God blesses when we bless Him - the meetings were very different (different leaders - family, local people - country & western style, etc - and quite loud!!! in the morning and my future son-in-law in the evening with my younger daughter assiting with the powerpoint and an excellent reading of the scriptures) but they tied in well just showing how many different ways there are to worship our Lord - and stressing the fact that we are all different and we should worship how we want to and how we feel led - not being afraid of doing so...... I shall be glad though when my Officers return tomorrow - I need to speak with them asap about the soldier who came for a chat and also, I've been worried that someone in the corps/linked to the corps might die - I'd been told to contact our Divisional Headquarters in Exeter if that were to happen! and we do have some very poorly folk in our fellowship - one on Sunday we prayed for especially as he was so ill and in pain he was unable to make it to the meeting - so there, not only am I glad its Wednesday for all the reasons stated at the beginning, I am also glad as its nearly Thursday and I can step back a bit - I have to say though, on Sunday morning I really felt under a lot of attack and I could have easily walked away from it all (esp when seeing some people's faces) and I did feel like I did a poor job and just wasn't suited to leadership in any way..... but come the evening, I felt quite different - thank you Lord - its never going to come easy to me, that sort of role, but I do know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!!! I just have to believe it and keep on believing it......

Disturbing???......

I want to share something that I read on a SA Soldier's blog yesterday.... its talking about persecution (as you might guess when you read it!):
"Have you been hated for Christ? have you shed blood? are you in the 70% of the Christian population that is under persecution? tell me if you are, and what country you live in, and let me know if it is wrong for me to pray for persecution in my life.
Though I'd love to be martyred for Christ (front row seats in heaven [Rev 6:9], and solidarity with Christ), I don't feel that now is the time: there is to much to be done, and I want to help.
However - to be beaten, thrown in jail, slandered, mocked, tortured - that I would love right now! I want to share in His sufferings and His glory (Rom 8:18) and "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings, becoming like him in his death" (Philippians 3:10)"

When I read this I did feel disturbed...... disturbed because it sounded extreme, disturbed because I don't know if we should be praying for persecution......... doesn't it say somewhere that we as followers of Christ will encounter persecution - its part of our lot if we are being used by him and being obedient to his call - surely we shouldn't be praying for it. Surely we should be focusing those prayers on praying for our brothers and sisters in Christ who suffer terribly from persecution... that they would endure and really know Christ... his power..... his fellowship, etc through the persecution. I felt disturbed to read that this person says that they want to be beaten......... tortured....... I may be wrong (I often am) but why would anyone say they want to experience something so horrendous.................... possibly someone who is looking for something that takes them to the extreme in their walk with Jesus??? I am just summising - I recognise absolutely that when persecution comes (in whatever way it does, subtly and not so subtly) then it quite often will show that we are doing something right for God - to be under attack means we are a threat to the enemy - otherwise we will be left alone. But to actively want to suffer in these prescriptive ways... I don't know.
Surely our walk with Jesus is a way of living on the edge - the biggest adventure - the most extreme of extreme ways of living - radically different from the rest of society..... but I believe that living in this way (with the persecution that inevitably comes along too) should be something that will show itself to those we are living/working/socialising/walking alongside of. Yes, as followers of Christ we should be prepared to suffer, for his cause - if he calls us to suffer, if persecution is allowed then that it will be for his glory and for the extension of his Kingdom. I will be the first to admit that I would find it very difficult if faced with the possibility of martyrdom.... Its surely not something to aim for???
I know I need disturbing and I know too that I very likely need to be more adventurous in my journey with God - he is working on this and I am doing my best to allow him to reveal more and more of himself to me. I accept that I am more than happy to know Christ and his power.... to know his fellowship, to share in his Glory but am I as happy to share in his sufferings in the same way........ Its good to be disturbed - by another's blog certainly but even more importantly allowing the Holy Spirit to do some disturbing and how ever much I might find it so hard at times, I thank God for his Faithfulness and patience yet again and I pray that he will continue to disturb me in as many ways as he sees is necessary........ and if that includes subtle or not so subtle persecution I pray for his strength and and his leading through the middle of it all, that I might emerge just that little bit more like Jesus at the end of it all!