Prayers and a pace-maker!

We had an 'interesting' Wednesday last week in our family..... I had a call from our elder daughter during the lunchtime (as I was wandering round Broadmead shopping area) to say that Dick (my other half) was on his way to the BRI (hosp) in an ambulance with what seemed like a recurrence of his heart problems. I texted Captains and Pete & Pauline for prayer and then rushed over to the A&E dept - I'm only 5 mins from it! - and was allowed into the Resus dept where he was pretty ill. His heart rate was very very low. He'd apparently lost consciousness at the wheel of the car whilst driving down into Pill, down Ham Green Hill - mounting the pavement but coming to a standstill due to stalling the car, thereby not causing any harm to property or person! He came round and managed to drive the 200yrds to our house, phoned our Drs and walked up to the Surgery where he collapsed again. They called the ambulance whilst doing an ECG. He had a pace-maker fitted that afternoon - a slot had just become available in theatre! I left him at that point and said I'd be back in the evening. I went home and phoned everyone that needed to know, made the tea, and then ended up having a lift with one of the corps' families (which was much appreciated). Dick looked so much better although was in considerable pain and still felt quite unwell (shock). He told me that on the way down to the theatre in the lift his heart rate went so low that they thought they were going to 'lose' him. Everyone said that it was a miracle that he survived......... I know it was...... I know that it was God working through peoples' prayers........ I know that the devil wanted to steal, kill and destroy, but I know that God was protecting Dick, throughout everything....... from not crashing the car and causing whatever damage to himself & others, to getting into the BRI so quickly, to suriving in the lift when it seemed like he wouldn't, to having the op so swiftly, and for making it through that........ I know that God is giving Dick more time to come to Him properly...... He is giving Lucy and I (and some others) more time to do what we should be doing....... we won't take it for granted. I had so many opportunities to witness to God's protection and His answering prayer, to so many people (and to Dick) in these last few days it has been incredible.
God is good and He is Faithful.

Time, space, the universe........

I have a big problem with time (lack of it....) and space - space that is personal, private and where I won't be likely to be disturbed. As far as 'the universe' is concerned, I listed that as it sounded good.... thankfully its not something that I have to try and deal with or sort out.

I'd blogged in June 06 about the fact that I was now sharing an office.... and the potential good and bad things about that. Well, on the whole it is good - I get on well with my colleague and have many opportunities to chat about my faith and what I got up to on the weekend (at the Army, etc). My colleague is off for a couple of months following a minor op and so I have the place to myself.... but I am having even more interruptions than ever. I did manage to spend an hour in prayer this morning before anyone came in...... and it was good because I was able to proclaim out loud, bind and loose out loud, declare out loud, etc., etc.,..... this is why I feel so frustrated with my lack of time and more importantly private personal space. I really believe it is vitally important to be able to pray out loud - in all sorts of ways, but so important, purely due to the fact that then, the devil hears! Most of the time I end up sitting on the bus going into work and praying fairly quietly as I travel...... but its not the same. Its better than nothing but its not the same and I'm getting more and more frustrated with the situation.

I've brought it before the Lord and, in my own way :~) suggested some possible options....... I still feel called to be an intercessor, prayer warrior and recognise that I need to study a lot more and I need a lot more teaching..... but this area of ministry (although applicable to all Christians) does keep pulling me very forcibly (well it feels like it!)

One thing God has said to me this morning is that I must stop trying to compare myself with others and seeing where I am failing......... Jesus is the only one who I should be looking to - as If I didn't know this already but my oh my, don't I need reminding!

Off to a Personnel meeting now......

Engagement party!

We had Lucy (my younger daughter) & Dave's engagement party at the SA Hall on Saturday evening and everything went well - people seemed to be enjoying themselves..... Sian (elder daughter) had put together a few CD's of varied music - took a few hours but it was good - thanks! Pete (CSM at Pill) had put the Disco Unit out ready.... thanks Pete! and everyone turned up who had said they would!!! it was good to meet a substantial number of Dave's family and just lovely to catch up with friends and family.

I had been a bit anxious about the potential of problems from youths that regularly gather in the precinct (opposite the Hall) so I'd spent some time in prayer after setting everything up asking for protection for us all and for God to be present with us in our celebrations of His hand being so evidently at work in bringing Lucy & Dave together..... and for opportunities to witness to the many (on our side of the family) who have no/little faith.

All I can say is that He is Faithfull - we had no problems with youths.... in fact there were none in the precinct at all.... and many opportunties were taken to witness - questions were asked about the cake (which had the Army flag on it) and the Army crest on the wall..... about what the colours meant, what the crown was for, etc...... and it was good to be able to explain how God had brought Lucy & dave together. All in all it was an absolutely lovely evening and I want to give Him all the Glory!

Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God........

I posted this prayer (below) very early on in my 'blogging'........ it just came to me again so I post it again here......... and am determined to mean it when I pray it :~)

(by Amy Wilson Carmichael)

Flame of God: From prayer that asks that I may be sheltered from winds that beat on Thee, From fearing when I should aspire, From faltering when I should climb higher. From silken self, O Captain, free Thy soldier who would follow Thee. From subtle love of softening things From easy choices, weakenings, (Not thus are spirits fortified Not this way went the Crucified) From all that dims Thy Calvary O Lamb of God, deliver me. Give me the love that leads the way, The faith that nothing can dismay The hope no disappointments tire, The passion that will burn like fire; Let me not sink to be a clod; Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.

In His strength and for His Kingdom......... I don't want to be a clod!

The beauty of Jesus

Yesterday I saw Jesus clearly radiating from a friend's face........ I've never experienced anything quite like it before (sad I know... but true!) This friend has cancer and I was visiting her whilst she was undergoing Chemo.... Iwas a bit anxious about it as I'd never been in a ward where everyone has cancer....... in fact the last time I spent with someone suffering with cancer was when I watched my dad die.
Anyway, all I can say is that my visit blessed me more than I can put into words! I walked into the ward and my friend was testifying to a new and frightened patient, telling her about how God was carrying her through and promising to pray for her..... of how good God is and how Faithful He is!
I spent just under an hour with her and came away knowing that I'd spent that time in the presence of God - On my way back to work the Army chorus ran through my mind "Let the beauty of Jesus be seen in me........." Well His beauty certainly showed in my friend's face - He lit up the ward!!!
What a challenge...... I came away truly blessed but feeling very humbled - lots to ponder.

My visual DNA.... and I'm no HTML whizz-kid!

As you will see, I've added my Visual DNA thingamebob - and although I didn't want it actually sitting in the title of my blog.... I couldn't get it a more sensible place (ie under my profile) without everything getting thrown out of sync - well thats my excuse anyway.... I've never pretended to be a web whizz.... or computer genius - BUT, I am quite proud that I actually managed to get it on there - believe it or not thats an achievement!
Anyway, back to the DNA - its pretty accurate but there are some inconsistencies.... but then I'm inconsistent at times so maybe its more accurate than I care to acknowledge!! It was fun though - and yes, I'm in a bit of holiday mode as its my last day at work for a week!!!!!!!!

And yes, I absolutely love this time of year, Easter, Spring..... the promise of good weather to come - everything bursting into colour and life almost before my eyes - Our Easter Meditations/Reflections every evening at the corps are usually very helpful to me - its good to be able to sit back and just let all of what Jesus did, does and will continue to do in my life and for the whosoever sink in - I find there is very little time ever these days for any reflection.... I can't remember the last time I had some space and time for myself, where I wouldn't be interrupted... and yes, I am joining with others each evening this week to reflect corporately - but thats ok too... at least all those there want to be there!

So, the recognition of what Christ went through for me........ and what he offers freely - Freedom - that word and theme keeps coming back to me again and again and again...... We all need His Freedom and there are so many who are desperately enslaved and in bondage to so much stuff, physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, circumstances, conditions........... He came to set us Free! I must proclaim that truth at every opportunity I have......... Freedom to be who we are each called to be in Christ - thanks be to God!

Something's happening!

The last 3 months or so have been 'interesting' on a spiritual level. I have stepped forward a little, fallen back a lot, fallen down, felt like I was disintegrating (and not just spiritually). I've retreated into what has been familiar.... I have been angry with everyone, including myself and including God. I am sorry to say this but whilst teaching Freedom in Christ and with the head-knowledge of all that teaching - knowing it to be true..... I have been too ready to believe the lies of the devil...... and the condemnation that has come with all of this bile. All I can say is that I have been incredibly feeble-minded and yet I know that I have the mind of Christ..... so, what have I been doing..... and, the usual question: where is God in all this??

I had been praying and praying with varying degrees of intensity for God to give me what I realised I needed (and what he knew I needed)...... That compassion and love for the lost..... that compulsion to bring them to Jesus' feet. What a horrendous thing to admit to, on the one had, and perhaps, thankfully I've realised what has been lacking (well one thing is a good start!)

I believe that God has been with me through all this.... and I just thank Him for His unconditional love... but (thanks to Andrew CO) I recognise [again.... sigh] that although God loves me, He went to Calvary in my place, to win my Freedom.... to clothe me in His robes of Righteousness - Robes I certainly don't deserve. He made the way clear, by His death, for me to boldly approach His throne of Grace - Amazing Grace!!!!!!! And all of this so that I might be reconciled to God..... in right relationship with Him.

When reading a SA blog last week (Captain Danielle Strickland) I was struck by the Micah challenge <http://www.micahchallenge.org/ and it was as though I came out of a fog and realised that my responsibility to 'Others' is a non-negotiable (to be honest I did know that but didn't know how to put it into practice) - but, I also realised that all my interest in Politics & Social Justice over the years, since entering my teens is down to how I was made, how I was created by my God....... I cannot enter into deep theological discussions (how ever interesting I find them!) because that is not me - but I can Act Justly, Love Mercy and Walk Humbly With My God and if I strive to do that, in God's strength and in His Love then............ well, it feels exciting and even though that doesn't sound very ' spiritual' I reckon that the Holy Spirit is prompting me and I just recognise a confirmation deep within me - the condemnation is gone. :)) Hallelujah!